Gasoline on «The fire of shame»

There is a lot of ways to use or abuse power. Many ways to surpress people. Rape doesn´t only rob the victim of something intimate. Rape switches selfrespect with bottomless shame.

Maybe it is unusual for a man to write about rape. Some might think its almost pathetic. I know that I am in danger of being labeled as a «softie» by writing about this. It doesnt matter. I am a man. I have a fiancé, a daughter, female friends and relatives. I know several rape victims . Some of them close to me. So do you. Rape touches us all.

Every time a rape is reported to the police there is nine rapes that doesn´t get reported. This numbers is from Norway . Between seven and 14 percents of the rapes is reported to the police.

Some years ago I had a job that took me across Eurpe. When I introduced myself and told them where I lived they all nodded and commented on Norways policy for gender equality. They knew absolutely nothing about fjords and mountains and the ridicilous brown cheese we desperately try to showe down every tourists throath. Norway is characterised for womens rights by many europeans . Still most rapes is not reported in this country.

Rape is as old as the human history. Its known from ancient greek and roman mythology. There  is also stories about rape from the bible.

The penis has been a very effective weapon in war. Rape of women and children is a well. A known strategy to paralyze the civil population. Rape of the enemies women and children is well-known from most wars. More systematicly known from Kosovo, Bosnia , Sudan and Burma. The aim is to make the civil population afraid and shamefull.

Rape is usually not a sexual deviation. Its a violent motivated crime, that is about power and the urge to degrade and harm the victims. Its an expression of surpression and is traditionally about mens whishes to surpress women. Some countries like Nigeria even punishes the victim of rape by flogging or stoning, The total surpression.

But why doesnt more women in a western european country like Norway report rape? In a country where women seems to be equal to men should this be obvious. Some of the rapes happens between friends and lovers and is not that easy to report due to personal bonds. Others is abut shame, surpression and centuries living in a culture that has pushed women down the social ladder. Even in Norway gender equality is realtively new, and a lot of the old prejudices stilll lives. You bare your shame, you dont talk about it. This is rules they still live by in many areas of Norway and in many  areas of many other countries. The worst part is that many women paricipate in this. Women hold themselves down by using old prejudises. But in now way does this releave the man.

Perhaps its a bit unusual for a man to write about this. Perhaps I should write about cars or football instead. I willl probably be stimatized by some for writing this, It doesnt matter. I am man enough to bare this. Most men should also be. Its time to get up and talk for all those that doesn´t dare. Those who let the shame and disgust for themselfes silence them. They who let the blame and shame destroy the person they were meant to be.

Well, this isnt now, is it? We live in the year 2010 and is an educated people?  The western women is stronge and independant? Between seven and 14 percent of the rapes in Norway is reported. I doubt that the numbers in other countries is much higher dependant on the population figures. That means that shame and guilt never grows out of fashion.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/safety/safebasics/rape_what_to_do.html

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/

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Explore posts in the same categories: Society and politics, Uncategorized

2 Comments on “Gasoline on «The fire of shame»”

  1. Val! Says:

    Thank you for caring and being ‘man enough’ to think/feel/write something to this effect. I just finished reading all your blog entries about women, and am glad to know a man as enlightened and caring as you is out in the world, writing something that will hopefully educate others – or if not that, that at least myself and others might come across and find comforting.

    Thanks 🙂

    -Val!


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